Use Your Powers for Good Not Evil

I'm currently sitting amongst the detritus in my room of the last week or so of my life. As I look around I can see the dress I wore to opening night, a shoebox filled with shoes that don't fit and need to go away, bits and pieces of Boston, books, pens - frankly, this room is mess. My bed has become the island in the ocean of clutter.

Life has been strange - I think that life is always strange, so maybe it is just in it's normal state - a kind of rather interesting, manageable chaos. I think that going to Boston this past weekend was a good choice to clear my head and just not think for a minute. For the first time in a while, I let myself not think about work. I did however read performance reports and will go into work an hour early to deal with Playbill tomorrow. But for the moment, the storm is quiet.

I think that the last week or so has also reminded me that plans and self-imposed rules don't usually work out. In the midst of supposedly being "on hiatus" from the opposite sex, I have gotten myself into what could loosely be described as a "situation". I guess the only thing you can do when you suddenly find yourself in a "situation" is to be cautious and don't talk about it.

From a romance standpoint, I suppose that sounds extremely cynical and not very optimistic. On the contrary, I think it is an indication of learning from the past on my part. When you meet someone, and there is some sort of chemistry (ie. you end up talking to them from another city on the phone at 2 am), AND it's unexpected, you need time to figure it out before your 12,000 friends overanalyze the situation.

Before that happens you have to figure out things like (and this is purposely strung together because it is mainly for my entertainment): will this person understand idiosyncrasies be willing to travel understand i don't have all the answers realize that just because i have guy friends i'm not secretly in love with them look the way i want them to without a shirt have a sense of humor when it comes to awkward situations will like baseball game food and know that i always travel with a book be a little obsessed with pop culture like to read will let me spend an hour wandering understand alone time be obsessed with brushing teeth not have scary body hair will be ok with the fact that i am obsessed with clothes but won't let it trickle into other parts of life won't present themselves as one person when they actually someone else realize the fine line between sticking out and fitting in will be willing to talk it out won't expect me to know how to cook everything because i am girl.

I'm basically procrastinating at this point and should be doing many things. Peace out for now. As per usual, I have more to say and didn't write yesterday when the ideas came, so instead this watered down version of my thoughts will have to suffice.