Because Being a Grown Up Means...

I have to be positive because I don't want to know what happens if I stop being positive.

Tomorrow (er...later today) I get to make what I guess is a very grown up call to a doctor and make a very grown up appointment. In a few days I get to sit in a grown up paper gown and fidget while I wait for the doctor. Then I get to wait, and wait some more for test results that tell me very grown up things.

At its best, this is a wake up call.
At its worst, I learn things I don't even want to talk about.

And for now I can soothe my nerves with a drink and a long shower and be grateful that I have health insurance.

Because it could be worse, right?

And because I don't know what happens if I start being regretful, I can realize the specific purpose of everything that happens. And will happen.

I want to start understanding that no way is the right way, and that karma may only go so far and some things are just beyond reasonable explanation.

...which logically will lead me to either believe in God, or believe that we might totally screwed.

Like I said, I have to be positive because I don't know what happens if I'm not.

The Maine Event

Dude. Awesome.

Maine is beautiful, such a trip.

For now all I will say is that I love the ocean, walking through a screen door is not a good idea, and that grilling fills you up the best.

I will treasure the memory of seeing the ocean first thing in the morning, of running around wild on the beach during a raging thunderstorm, and the eerie sensation of walking towards an ocean I could hear but not see in a mess of fog during low tide.

I love the ocean and all it's moods...pity its so salty. I grew up swimming in the Great Lakes so the salt is still strange to me.

Things That Must Be True and He Who Must Not Be Named

It is not a good idea to believe you could fall in love with someone based on their handwriting.

A relationship did not fall apart because we had a conversation about pooping.

The Harry Potter phenomenon this weekend was amazing.

You Said Turn Right at the...Gumby?

This evening I went to a concert by the New York Philharmonic on the Great Lawn in Central Park. It was free and it being summer and a cultural event, the New Yorkers (and many tourists) came in large picnicking packs. Liz texted me her location on the Great Lawn. The text said "Stage left behind the second row of speakers near the gumby." I was mystified. I arrived at the Lawn which was covered with people and blankets and creeped my way through the crowd as I mumbled "Gumby?!?!? Where on earth is Gumby?" Suddenly in the distance I saw an inflatable Gumby figurine swaying in the breeze. As I looked around I noticed all sorts of fantastical inflatable creatures along the temporary paths created by barriers in the park. I realized that the Gumby was part of a larger plan to create a bunch of recognizable landmarks - a whimsical practical solution to a common large scale event problem. Yes, someone could have printed out a bunch of letters and hung them all over the Lawn, but really isn't it more fun to say "Meet me by the purple unicorn," than "Meet me by the letter M"?

So my mood improved greatly after seeing all the creatures throughout the venue, I found Liz with minimal difficulty, ate my impromptu picnic, and enjoyed several classical music selections, pretty clouds, and fireworks with a few thousand neighbors.

The other three highlights of the evening:

1. Watching a group of women share their picnic with a clearly mystified young Eastern European male tourist.
2. Listening to people shush each other en masse, and listening to the guilty party quickly apologize.
3. Watching two escaped balloons sail up into the clouds and dissappear. Laying on my back in grass, listening to music, and staring at the sky were much appreciated small moments in my otherwise hectic day.

Celebrity Sighting #27

I rode in the elevator with Harvey Fierstein.

What I Like

I've become OBSESSED with this website where people post products they like and their opinions called thisnext.com.

Apparently I have very expensive taste. I've been searching for a offbeat table for my room. Sadly, my budget is more Craigslist than upscale LA or London designers, but it is amazing how much joy I get from knowing such beautiful, functional, and unusual things exist in the world.

I am having a good time learning about my interior design tastes.

It's a balmy summer friday, and having spent a great deal of my workday on the phone on hold, I've had lots of time to peruse various furniture sites.

I don't know what I did in Yoga, but OW.

Scary is... (in the age of technology)

...realizing people read your blog.

...having to understand what things like FTP access permission and DNS error mean.

...realizing that your boss is on Facebook.

Celebrity Sighting #26...Belated.

Richard Kind. You'd know him if you saw him.

Happy Birthday USA.

It is late - a list about the 4th of July will have to suffice.

1. My room is now green NOT pink. YAY.
2. I ate a patriotic cake.
3. I learned that someone I know is a transexual, and I was impressed b/c I had no idea.
4. I saw a boob with a pierced nipple.
5. I sang as much of the Canadian national anthem as I know.
6. I sang Happy Birthday to the United States.
7. I love my new camera.
8. I love fireworks when I get to stand on a swanky balcony.
9. Sometimes you will be at a party and suddenly you will be discussing the mechanics of mermaids having sex.
10. I like being at a party and realizing that I am in a diverse group of people.

WTF and other adventures....

So this weekend I finally went to the famous Williamstown Theatre Festival. As with most things, the idea that I had created in my head of this place was completely incorrect. I'm starting to learn that is generally the case.

I've learned a few things this weekend - one being that I have a hard time meeting new people these days. I think I need about 24 hours to (I hate this word) decompress and relax when I leave New York. I was definitely kind of nervous about this trip - it was an odd combination of people for me AND I was having the whole "I have a cough, and cramps, and today I am very socially awkward" feeling. I combatted this feeling by leaving Williamstown and going to visit some of my friends from Jacob's Pillow in Northampton. This was a good choice for me.

I haven't seen Jaime in over a year. She was my partner in crime in Development at the Pillow and she is wonderful and ridiculous. I also met her friend Alex and got to see my friend Josh. It was silly and immature and fabulous. I think that is what I needed.

I'm very please that I got to visit MassMOCA while I was here. I love MassMOCA. It is a unique museum and incredible. To have been within 20 minutes of MassMOCA and not seen it would have broken my heart.

I think that ultimately this was a successful trip. I'm slowing figuring out how my brain and personality works again and this weekend was helpful.

PMS and cramps are stupid. They make life harder than it needs to be. Being thrown into a situation where you have to be charming is annoying and challenging enough. Automatically feeling like poo on top of everything else was probably not what I needed.

And I got "Man Bling" tattoos. So really that made the weekend worth it. I am looking forward to an adventure with Abby in New York wearing our matching MAN BLING tats.