Celebrity Sighting #25.2

It gets worse.

Yesterday I hit Bebe Neuwirth in the back with a stall door in the bathroom.

I'm thinking...we probably won't be friends.

Celebrity Sighting #25

Bebe Neuwirth. I entered the bathroom as she was leaving it.

Celebrity Sighting #24

I rode in the elevator with Allison Janney.

I had to blow my nose because I have a cold.

I was kind of embarassed.

(Oh yeah Joe Mantello and I had a conversation about dust...also a little embarassing.)

Celebrity Sighting #23

Dolly Parton. In my place of employment. She looks amazing and is very nice.

That Time I Confused the Greenpeace Lady or Why I Shouldn't Talk to Strangers

While walking from the subway to my apartment, I am greeted by a woman from Greenpeace. While we are talking my roommate passes by and I wave.....this conversation ensues:

Greenpeace Lady: Who was that?

Me: That's my roommate.

Greenpeace Lady: Oh you live with a guy?

Me: No, I live with the girl.

Greenpeace Lady: I thought you meant the guy.

Me: No, that's my roommate's husband.

Greenpeace Lady: (pause) So then does he live with you?

Me: No, he lives in Ithaca.

Greenpeace Lady: I don't understand. How does that work?

Me: They live in different places. He goes to med school.

Greenpeace Lady: Why don't they live together?

Me: Well...they are Chinese. (pause as I realize I now sound racist) It has to do with Visas and jobs and costume design and...um...it's hard to explain. They'll live together soon...in Ithaca.

Greenpeace Lady: I am still confused. So....will you join Greenpeace?

Me: Uh...no.

And all this time I thought I didn't like motorcycles...

Um... so I just found out this kid I went to a study abroad program with got a ducati. I thought I was not a huge fan of motorcycles. I've had multiple opportunities to ride on one with various men in various countries and never said yes.

Except I just looked at this guy's online photos (on Facebook...shhhh) of him and his Ducati and now...um...I want to ride on his Ducati.

He's hot. And kind of an asshole. But a hot asshole.

I guess motorcycles are hot when the guy on them is hot.

Weirdness.

I keep seeing all these people from television at work today:

So far I've seen people from "Who's the Boss?", "Veronica Mars", and "That 70s Show".

I'm cranky and have drank too much coffee.

A haiku:

Confused and cranky,
Need sex, sleep, and ice cream treat,
Mid-twenties slump time.

These are the questions that make it the Mid-twenties slump?

As a result of a two hour phone conversation with an old friend, I need to ask the following:

What do you do when you find out someone you trusted and loved was essentially manipulating your life from multiple angles for several years by giving people inappropriate advice?

What do you do when your friend dates somebody you hate, someone you are afraid is only going to hurt them?

Do you give new people in your life a second chance, or is that only reserved for long term friends?

How do you forgive people? Do you forgive because somebody deserves forgiveness or only because it will be easier forget if you let it go?

How do you deal with crushes spanning several years?

Is it always better to tell somebody the truth?

Is it worth it to lose a friend over a relationship?

Is it worth it to lose a friend over a night of really amazing sex?

Am I only friends with people I was involved in the past because we didn't sleep together?

How come some people will always feel guilty, even if you tell them not too, and others will never feel guilty even when they should?

Should we actively work to improve our karma, or is karma a joke?

How far should you go for self preservation? Do you sacrifice common politeness and decency, or do you realize that you need to learn to function in the world as a kind person?

Is it ever ok - really ok - to punch someone in the face?

Love, Dating, and Other Things I Don't Understand

So supposedly I have a date tomorrow night. Plans have not been confirmed, but post-making out at a club, a cute boy took my number. And then texted me and I texted back. And then called and left a message. Then I called him and left a message. And then we actually you know...talked on the phone.

He was saying cute and romantic type things, but I wasn't buying it...not that I necessarily think he didn't mean it...maybe he did, but these types of phrases don't have the same impact on me as they did the first time.

The first time...

I guess the first time was the boy I dated for three years. I guess he was the first real time. I mean boys said "romantical" things before that, and I wasn't as swept up in the whole ordeal. I guess that means I was really in love? Maybe it means I only believe someone if I've known them a long time.

I remember being sixteen on the subway in New York and I had just finished telling my friend how no boy ever really made me feel pretty. A random boy walked up to me and told me I was beautiful... I don't know if he heard my complaint. I was convinced he must have, or why else did he come up to me.

When I was seventeen, I really wanted to be in love. I had a really great first kiss with a boy. Little did I know, that first kiss would be eclipsed by many other first kisses. I didn't love that boy, we never got that far. We broke up because I wouldn't have sex with him.

When I was nineteen, a boy told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back. I know I didn't love him. He was a kind, thoughtful, and communicative boy and I wish I had treated him better. But I wasn't in love with him. I was nineteen and in Europe and for the first time I was learning how to be ok with flirting and men and the whole club scene.

When I was twenty-one, I think I might have fallen in love. But it never went anywhere. I could barely talk about it coherently with anybody. I even tried to tell the person. That incident was like a deer caught in the headlights. I asked my friend if being in love counted if you never actually dated the person, if they never really knew what you were thinking.... she said yes, it still counts.

When I was twenty-two, I definitely fell in love. And it was long, and dramatic, and wonderful and horrible. And I'm finally getting over it. I think I might mostly be over it...I'm not sure. But I'm not still in love with this person. This first kiss put all the other first kisses in the world to shame. It will be the first kiss by which I will judge all future first kisses. I was the first person to say "I love you" and I whispered it late at night, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the floor. I whispered it while snow fell outside and it was a wonderful feeling. And then 3+ years later it fell apart.

But I'm still okay; I'm even better than okay, and I think I still believe in love.

So the next question is...can you be in love with two people at the same time? I think I was. I think it happened when I was twenty-two for a little while. Another first kiss - not perfect in the John Hughes movie way, but kind of perfect in the Judd Apatow way. In a piazza. In the most romantic country in the world. Maybe it was real, maybe it was the lighting in the piazza.

Now I am twenty five, and statistics say I am at the ideal age for marriage... or was it the average age for marriage? The truth is, I'm probably further from marriage then I've ever been. But I still want to believe in marriage.

And tomorrow, maybe, I'm going on a date. With a medical student I met in a club. Do I like him? Maybe. Will it go anywhere? Maybe, but I lean towards probably not. Why? Circumstances. Will I believe him tomorrow if he says something romantic? I would like to. I would at least like to not roll my eyes if he he busts out a line about my eyes.

So I will go home and I will choose an outfit, and I will wear mascara, and I will get nervous. I will hope that if it isn't forever, the butterflies will happen at least for a little while and I will believe, even just for a minute, that love is possible and I will stop being cynical, even just for a minute. And if he says "you look pretty" I won't look for alterior motives, I won't judge him because he said something moony, I won't try to sneak a look at myself in a window to see if he is lying. I will smile and I will believe him and I will say "thanks."

Freak Allergic Reaction

Yesterday morning, I woke up and suddenly thought "Hmmmm, my eye feels weird". I look in the mirror and realize that my right eyelid is swelling rapidly and I look scary. Really scary actually. My roommates take one look at me and they looked pretty freaked out. I call my boss and tell her I have to go to the doctor.

Bad news... I don't have insurance yet. Ironically, I have just become eligible for insurance - I have insurance paperwork, but no insurance. Crap.

I call clinics and friends who went through "no insurance" periods in their life in New York City. All the while my eye is swelling more and more. I look scarier.

Finally, I just decide to go to the clinic that I have a confirmed address for and seems the nicest on the phone. I walk about 2 miles because the subway and bus doesn't help me get from Point A to Point B.

I arrive at the clinic in extreme discomfort - I can only see out of one eye and I have a throbbing headache from the pressure being put on my eye. The clinic doctors take one look at me and tell me to go to the emergency room. I start to get very concerned about my health. Various people start telling me how to get to the hospital which is disorienting and no single set of directons makes sense. Finally one nice man (who doesn't even work for the clinic) takes me outside to the bus stop and explains how to get to the emergency room at Mount Sinai Hospital in Queens.

The bus comes immediately, thank goodness, and I get on the bus and stand next to the bus driver. I call my friend Evan who is one of the most comforting people I know in New York. We giggle nervously on the phone. The bus driver and I chat about the hospital. The bus driver looks at me, gets freaked out, and says "Yeah, you look really bad." AWESOME - even the bus driver is scared of my face.

I wait, I make some calls for work, I try and read with my one good eye in the waiting room. I see the doctor and she tells me I had an allergic reaction, but she doesn't know what it was, and she can't really do anything for me. She gives me some tips to reduce the swelling and I leave.

I go home, sit for 5 hours with frozen cucumbers on my eye, keep taking antihistamines, nap periodically sitting up (I was told NOT to lie down). I drag my sorry butt into Manhattan for the last of four focus groups for work.

I'm waiting to see how bad my bill is - if I have to pay 1200 bucks for some antihistamines and a light being shone in my eye, I'm going to apply for assistance and see if I can retroactively have my insurance cover this incident.

Anyways, all is back to normal... life was a little scary for a while. It was nice that people offered to come to the hospital with me, or meet me there, but I was pretty proud that I handled things ok. I did get a bit teary on the phone with the mom, but only her. I gave myself one minute to compose myself and then took care of some deadlines for my job. I think I might use my new insurance to go to the allergist and figure out which substances I need to avoid.

Making My Life Better One Step at a Time

1. Yoga
2. Blackberry
3. Smaller Digital Camera
4. Paint the apartment
5. Library Card
6. Dance Class
7. Stick to beer.
8. Count to 10 before speaking or typing on the G-Chat.
9. Coupons
10. More sleep.
11. Automatic Debit for Credit Card payments

1. I am in Yoga class.
2. Done.
3. Picked the camera.
4. Working on it.
5. I need to get mail to get the card. Send me mail!
6. Have class schedules.
7. Well...working on it again.
8. Probably won't get to 10, will settle for counting to 5.
9. I have scissors. Now I need some coupon inclusive publications.
10. I will do what I can.
11. Done!

So...not too bad.

We are so close we could spit on Home Plate.

I'm a newly minted real life baseball fan. I sat right behind home plate at Yankee Stadium via tickets courtesy of Pirates first baseman Adam LaRoche. We had to pick up our tickets at the VIP station.

Hot.

Beer, yelling, and crowds singing songs.....YAY baseball.

I Want to Leave My Fingerprints on You

This is a line from a song in Passing Strange which I saw at the Public Theatre tonight. I highly recommend it. I guess you could call it a rock musical...or a punk rock musical....

It is based on the life of Stew, a musician. He just goes by Stew, so all I can call him is Stew. I really wish they would make a cast album. I want to see it again.

So this random lady I met today gave me the cell phone number of a 28 year-old family friend that she thinks I might like... to date. It was one of the stranger moments of my day. I'll probably give him a call, since he is a theater person and is going to CMU. I like new people.

And I'm going to a Yankees game tomorrow.

Life is unexpected sometimes.

Sigh. I really enjoyed Passing Strange.

Yoga...aaaaaahhhhh.

I love Yoga. I forgot how wonderful and hard it is.

My body feels like jello.

When I did Yoga today for part of the class I only thought about what my body was feeling and how much I liked being still.

And that is a reason to say thank you.

Life Settles In...

I officially live in Astoria.

I was at work an hour early today for no reason except me and wanting to do random things.

I have summer plans and projects.

Word.

26 Hours of Free Music

Tonight I spent 5 hours at the Bang On A Can Music Marathon. This event has been going on for 20 years in New York City in various venues. At first I was skeptical because some of my experiences with contemporary music have not been pleasant, but I was amazed. The marathon took (and is still taking) place at the World Financial Center downtown. The musical groups/acts are from all around the world - when I left an ensemble from Uzbekhistan (FYI I know I totally spelled that wrong, but I'm real tired....) was playing.

The World Financial Center has a giant indoor courtyard with a glass ceiling and many palm trees. It seemed a bit strange and ironic to be sitting in a venue with a very "I'm at the mall" feeling to it. However, seeing the sunset through the palm trees was pretty awesome. One of ensembles also performed a horn piece spread throughout the multiple floors of the courtyard with the conductor in the middle of the ground floor.

I liked the casual feel of the whole event - I wandered off to find a bagel at one point and could still hear the music. The best act of all (that I have seen thus far - I want to go back tomorrow as well) was the band The Books from North Adams, MA. Incidentally this is where MassMOCA is - one of the largest spaces for contemporary art in the country and a really kick ass place to visit if you are ever in the Berkshires. The Books make beautiful music and found video art. They are smart and cheeky and I never thought I would say that one of the most incredible things I've seen lately included a home video of a boy on a trampoline.

I love that New York has these great events and for FREE too! At 4:30 AM you can see 18 people playing 18 pianos at the World Financial Center. I kind of wish I had the stamina to stay up all night for this event, but I have plans at noon tomorrow, plans I really can't skip. Tomorrow is the first Lebowski Sunday that has occurred for over a year and Michael is leaving town on Monday. Plus I am officially becoming a resident of Astoria tomorrow. All my stuff lives there, now it is time for me to go too.

I think the music of Brian Eno is currently wafting through the financial district.....awesome.

Tomorrow I get to see Yo La Tengo! Liz and I bought many CDs to share of new exciting music. We talked to a bass clarinetist named Evan for advice. I find Evans to be really solid, good characters and good for smart suggestions. I'm really excited about The Books DVD. Beautiful music and beautiful videos to share....