I recently read an article about the physical effects of loss and breakups. You can actually have physical symptoms that are the same as a cold or flu or any other kind of illness. This does not make me feel good. It's snowing here...I can get ill on my own without psychosematic additions.
I wonder what kind of crazy electronic jumps my synapses are making to help me get through this. I've been aware of a few sad thoughts but mostly everything has been ok- not to belittle the seriousness of the situation I was in only a few days ago- but so far life just feels like the whole Don/London incident was some sort of cosmic blip and now I get to find something (and someone...heh heh) to do that I actually like.
There have been moments of anger...an urge to poke a certain boy with sharp point sticks not unlike the sad Piggy moment in Lord of the Flies, and an unfortunate addition of that boy's email to a list for free gay porn. But both the vision of the pokey sticks and the mailing list created brief but unfufilling satisfaction.
Christina reminded me that grief has 5 steps not 12....but then we weren't really sure what the five steps were...ok it was cold and we wanted grilled cheese.
Tomorrow I get free dinner and free theater. Yesterday an invite to the Grey Goose Vodka Launch Party. Tonight free concert in Brooklyn.
New York has possibilities...
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